Rambles

Sometimes I just want to forget.  More often than not, I wish I was a kid again.  I may look fine.  I may look carefree.  I have a lot of things on my mind.  I have a lot of worries in me.  I have to keep a straight face.  I have to.  I just have to.

The word on my mind right now is despair.  There's always that niggling feeling.  Joy is but temporary.  That's why I hate being alone.  Being alone throws me into this nothingness that I feel.  How foolish of me to call it nothingness...because in fact, it is not nothing.  It is full of darkness and despair.

I have no right to feel this way, for the burden is not entirely on me.  It's just that, I feel like it's so draining the fact that you can't do anything to elevate someone from the same pit as you.  I don't care if I ever get out.  What matters is that the people I care about is out of here.

It's better to be left here...I don't want them in this shit hole.  They deserve better.

I don't deserve them.