I hate it when you see me cry

I guess my tears were brought upon by my self-inflicted pain.
...but then again...
When you inflict pain on me, you never heard me retaliate.

...so in the end...every time...

Tears that are shed...
only come from me.

Rambles

Sometimes I just want to forget.  More often than not, I wish I was a kid again.  I may look fine.  I may look carefree.  I have a lot of things on my mind.  I have a lot of worries in me.  I have to keep a straight face.  I have to.  I just have to.

The word on my mind right now is despair.  There's always that niggling feeling.  Joy is but temporary.  That's why I hate being alone.  Being alone throws me into this nothingness that I feel.  How foolish of me to call it nothingness...because in fact, it is not nothing.  It is full of darkness and despair.

I have no right to feel this way, for the burden is not entirely on me.  It's just that, I feel like it's so draining the fact that you can't do anything to elevate someone from the same pit as you.  I don't care if I ever get out.  What matters is that the people I care about is out of here.

It's better to be left here...I don't want them in this shit hole.  They deserve better.

I don't deserve them.