My walk

I remember a time when one of my best friends [yes, Dulzura, it is you] told me:

"I love your walk."

My walk.  I never really cared about it.  I just knew that walking that way made me happy.  I felt alive when I took up some speed in my stride.  The way my hips swayed for every step I made felt natural.  I felt slick.

I can't feel it anymore.

My walk feels calculated.  I seem to be mindful about it now...almost as if I don't want to be looked at.

What the hell.  I've always loved being looked at.

Vain.  I know.  But I guess I lost an important part of me.  I lost that part of me that didn't care about what other people thought of me.

Since when have I been so robotic?  I feel so stiff...even when i'm listening to music.
What happened to me?

What happened to you, Alex?

Fine.

FINE!  GO AHEAD!  I DON'T NEED YOU IN MY FUTURE!

Words that sent chills down to my spine.
I'm trying to be okay.
I'm trying to be.
Swallow the tears.
I'm fine.